Saint Chad’s, Chadwell Heath, Romford
A Christian Community Seeking To Serve Jesus
Welcome to our 'Hatches and Matches' page where you will find details about how we help new parents to welcome their new arrivals (hatches) into the family of the church.
We'll also give details, about how we can help those wishing to be married (matches) at Saint Chad's to celebrate their special day Getting Married at Saint Chad's
Every child is a very precious and special gift from God and we are delighted to be able to share something of your joy, to encourage you in your parenting and to enable you, and your families, to celebrate the safe arrival of your child. We do this in two ways with Services of Thanksgiving and Services of Baptism
Services of Thanksgiving
A Thanksgiving Service is a celebration to mark the birth and naming of your child. In this service, we give thanks for your child's new life and commit both you, and your child, to God, asking for his help and blessing in the years to come. Because there are no promises to be made in this Service, many parents feel that having a Thanksgiving Service is a more appropriate way of recognising the wonder, and joy, of children and, at a later date (after atending church on a regular basis and participating in a Baptism preparation course) are having their children Baptised when they feel able to commit themselves to the promises they are being asked to make.
Do we have to start attending church?
It would be very helpful if you were able to do so - for a number of practical reasons! Firstly, a Thanksgiving Service is about welcoming your child into the family of the church and we believe it is helpful for you to get to know us, and we to know you, and that you have a sense of belonging to Saint Chad’s when this Service takes place.
Secondly, coming along will give you an idea of the type of church we are, which will help you decide whether, or not, you’d want your child (and yourselves) to be part of our church family! It will also give you a general ‘feel’ of the type of service you will be inviting your family and friends along too.
Thirdly, it’s always good for us (and for you) to feel as though we know each other in some small way - especially if we're going to be involved in one of the most special days of your life. The only way a relationship can be developed is that we see each other on a regular basis.
If, after coming along for a few weeks, you’ve enjoyed your time with us and would like to arrange a Thanksgiving Service at Saint Chad’s we are more than happy to talk this service through with you in more detail and pencil in a date in the diary. Thanksgiving Services usually take place, three or four times a year at our Parade/All Age Worship Services on the first Sunday of the month.
What if I have to work on a Sunday?
We do understand that some of you may be compelled to work on Sundays through no choice of your own. We are very sympathetic to this - there are many different groups meeting throughout the week which help to meet this need for many of our church members, and we will happily help you to find the best way for you to be a regular part of our church family.
We live in difficult days ...
We're sure you’d agree with us when we say that these are difficult times in which we live, especially for youngsters, who continually find themselves subjected to many unhealthy pressures. They certainly need all the spiritual resources available to them if they are to become the mature, and wholesome, personalities God desires them to be. We want to urge you, as your child grows older, to make use of the opportunities for them to learn more about the Christian faith through our Sunday School and the many Children & Young Peoples groups we offer. But, most importantly, be willing to pray for your child (see prayer below); pray with your child; worship in Church Sunday by Sunday with your child and encourage your child to know Jesus for themselves and to become an active member of the Christian Church.
May God’s blessing rest upon you and your family life at this exciting time.
click here to download the above article
Click here to download a Thanksgiving application form
Click here to download the latest Adobe Acrobat Reader
A service of Baptism is for those parents who have already had a Service of Thanksgiving for their child and have made, or are making, a continuing commitment to their Christian Faith, and for whom a Service of Baptism seems to be the next step on their, journey of faith. Many parents, at this stage, may now be entering ‘new’ territory and this section is designed to help you think seriously about the depth of your Christian faith. It maybe that you will find this challenging - that is quite deliberate - it is important that you are able to reflect both honestly and openly with some of the issues concerned.
What is a Baptism Service?
In the New Testament, Baptism is linked to what is described as the ‘Household of Faith’. Which means that parents, who are active Christians, Baptise their children into that same active Christian family.
A Baptism Service, therefore, is not just about your child’s faith but, more importantly, about your own faith as you, and the godparents, make some very solemn promises. You will be asked, publicly, to affirm your own belief in God, and in Jesus, and to commit yourselves to live a distinctively different lifestyle - or continue to do so if you are already a committed Christian. Without that belief of your own, it is impossible to help your child on their journey of faith.
Baptism also refers to the shared faith of the local church which is why Baptisms take place in our Parade/All Age Worship Services on the first Sunday of the month where we can welcome your child, and you as a family, into the family of the Church.
Why is water used?
Water is used in Baptism because it speaks to us of washing and cleansing; of God’s forgiveness and his promise of New Life. Just as water cleans our clothes and dirty dishes, so the pouring of water in Baptism reminds us that when we turn to Jesus, God makes us spiritually ‘clean’ in his sight. This is done in the belief and expectation that, when your child is older, and with with your example and encouragement, they will have the opportunity to decide for themselves to follow Jesus and make their own confession of faith through their Confirmation vows.
Words of Testimony
In the early church, people who were Baptised, or brought children to be Baptised, would share their testimony (how they came to faith) and the difference knowing Jesus made to their lives.
In a similar way one, or both, parents will be given the opportunity to do the same through sharing something of their own personal faith, which may include answers to the following questions: When did you become a Christian? What made you become a Christian? How did you become a Christian? What difference did becoming a Christian make to your life then, and now? What are your hopes for the future? What are your hopes for your child? Thinking through these questions is something that will help to re-affirm your Christian faith and will encourage the faith of the wider church family.
Members of our church family gathered round the Font
(situated at the back of church) at a recent Baptism.
How do I become a Christian?
It may surprise you to learn that attending church does not make you a Christian. We become Christians by being, as Jesus taught us in John’s Gospel, ‘Born Again.’ That is:
-
We recognise Jesus as Lord and Saviour of the world.
-
We ask God to forgive us for all the wrong things we have done. We turn away from our own way of living and let God rule every area of our lives - this is what the Bible calls ‘repentance’.
-
We decide to follow Jesus Christ and accept the forgiveness he made possible by his death on the cross - this is what the Bible calls ‘believing’.
We can know, personally, the God who made the universe. It's amazing, but true! This relationship is open to us not on the basis of how good we are, but as a free gift from God - the Bible calls this Grace. Of course, being a Christian does not guarantee us a problem-free life (far from it) but it does bring a completely new, and exciting, perspective on everything.
An active Christian, as we have already said, is a person who: acknowledges Jesus as Lord and Saviour; takes an active involvement in the life of the local church; lives their lives by following Christian morals and ethics found in the Bible; and can share a personal testimony of what Jesus means to them.
And so, if you believe that you can make the promises the Baptism Service requires and are able to share something of your own personal Christian faith (we’ll help you to do this), then please make contact with us so that we can talk this through with you in more detail; make preparation for you to attend a Baptism Preparation Course and pencil in a provisional date.
On a practical note, in order to us to comply with Canon Law, you need to live within our parish boundary to have your child Baptised at Saint Chad's, or be a member of our Electoral Roll if you are not (you can usually apply for this after you have attended church, on a regular basis, for a minimum of six months).
May God’s blessing rest upon you and your family life at this exciting time.
A Prayer for Your Child
Heavenly Father, in your love you have called us to know you, led us to trust you and bound our life with yours. Surround our child with your love; protect our child from evil; fill our child with your Holy Spirit; receive us into the family of your Church; walk with us as we seek to follow Jesus and help us to grow in the knowledge of your love. Amen.
Getting Married At Saint Chad's
We are so glad that you are thinking about getting married at Saint Chad’s church. This suggests to us that you are taking marriage very seriously and have thought a great deal about the commitment it brings and about your relationship together. It is also an indication that you both want God to have a share in your marriage and in your future lives together. In fact, we are sure that you both want only the very best for your future and we want to enable you to have the best possible to your married life together.
This is why we actively encourage couples to commit theselves to attend Saint Chad's on a regular basis prior to the ceremony taking place. Choosing to be married in church,means that you are committing yourselves to the spiritual aspect of being marrried in God's presence and getting to know a bit more about the Christian faith is a very important part of preparing for your marriage. Many couples have done this and have thoroughly enjoyed their time with us and many have continued to worship with us after their wedding.
On a practical level, it is important to us (and we're sure to you) that we feel as though we know you in some small way on your wedding day and, also, that you get to know us - especially if we're going to be strategically involved in such a special day in your lives.
We also want to take the opportunity to remind you of a few points which we hope will be helpful to you in your preparations.
Cost: The cost for a wedding will be £TBA (please contact the church office for up to date fees). This will include the Diocesan charge for the vicar officiating at your wedding; as well as payment for: Banns of Marriage; Organist; Choir; some Flowers; Verger; Heating and Lighting etc. It also includes statutory rates for the use of the church building.
Banns of Marriage: For wedding couples, Banns of Marriage are read out at the 10.30am services on the first three Sundays of the month preceding your marriage. For example, if you are getting married in July, your Banns will be read on the first three Sundays in June. If one, or both of you, live outside the parish of Saint Chad’s, then Banns must legally be called in the parish where you live and a certificate issued by that parish, prior to your being able to lawfully marry. You are responsible for arranging this. If no Certificate of Banns is presented prior to your wedding, we will not, legally, be able to perform the marriage ceremony.
Orders of Service: It is up to you to produce orders of service, should you want them. Please let us know if you are, then we can help you with an outline of the service and suggestions on what to include. Please don’t go to a printer to have an order of service printed with out first having a word with us. (We have, in the past, provided Orders of Services for a small fee).
Music: Please let us know your choice of hymns and any special music you might like, so that the organist, and choir, can practise in advance. (We have a CD of hymns etc., to help you in your choice). Many couples often only remember songs from school asemblies - attending church, therefore, will open up a new range of songs for you to choose from.
Flowers: If you wish to have extra flowers (in addition to those we regularly provide for Sunday services) we can arrange this for you.
Video/Photography/Confetti: We are happy for you to video the service but would ask that this would be done discreetly. It is your responsibility to apply for the copyright license. We always prefer that photography does not take place during the exchanging of vows - this distracts from, what is, a very solemn part of the service. We are happy for you to use confetti outside of the church!
Marriage Preparation: Alongside your coming to our church services, the vicar will invite you to the vicarage (early in the year of your marriage) for an informal get together to talk through the marriage ceremony and to discuss some of the issues surrounding the commitment that marriage entails. He will also make arrangements to meet with you, two or three times efore your wedding, to talk through your service and to get to you know you a little more. He will also arrange a rehearsal, usually early on the Thursday evening prior to your wedding day.
On Your Wedding Day
The Bridegroom and Best Man: Should arrive, at least, half an hour before the start of the service and inform the vicar that they have arrived!
Ushers: Please select your ushers in advance and make sure they know what their responsibilities are:
-
They should arrive half an hour before the start of the service.
-
They should make your guests feel welcome.
-
They should be aware of which guests are with the Bride and Groom and show them to their seats.
The Best Man:
Is responsible for: The safe conduct of the rings during the service; Handing copies of the service sheets to the Bridal Party when they arrive; Making sure that the Bride’s father (or person giving her away) and the Bridesmaids, move into the right place during the course of the service; Escorting the Bridesmaids, and family, into the Vestry for the signing of the Registers.The Bride:
Try not to be too late in arriving! It may seem a bit of fun but it causes a great deal of anxiety for family and friends if you are over late and, because there are often two weddings on the same day, causes quite a bit of disruption.Signing the Register: Those present should include Bride; Bridegroom; Parents; Best Man and Bridesmaids. This usually takes place in the Vestry - please discuss any other ideas you might have with us.
We hope this information answers some of the queries you may have. However, please do not hesitate to get in touch if there is anything we can do at any time.
May God’s blessing rest upon you and your family life at this exciting time.
The Final Countdown
Your Wedding Planner Checklist
Organising a wedding can be a fraught and stressful business. Alternatively, it can be an enjoyable and confident time. In order that the latter is the case for you, here is a countdown checklist of what needs to be done in the months before your wedding. It may not cover every eventuality but it certainly covers most that needs to be planned.
12-6 months
- Announce your forthcoming marriage to family and friends (you may also like to announce this in the newspapers).
- Select an engagement ring (if the future bride desires one).
- Write letters of thanks to family members or friends who give engagement presents.
- Decide on the venue, day and time for the wedding. Remember that churches often have more than one wedding on some days and it might not be possible to have the day and time you desire. Visit the priest and ask if it would be possible to have a certain day and time, rather than making immovable demands.
- Arrange to meet with both sets of parents to decide who will be financially responsible for which parts of the wedding budget. To help you to do this, get some estimates of costs for the church, flowers, cars, clothes hire, reception etc.
- Decide whom you want as best man, bridesmaids and ushers. Ask them if they are will to perform these tasks. You may like to ask others to take part in the service by leading the prayers or doing a reading. Decide too what all these people will wear on the wedding day.
- Decide the number of guests to be invite to the wedding (remember that it is often sensible to consult your parents in this).
- Book a venue for the reception and decide what sort of catering you would like (buffet, sit-down meal etc).
- Start to make a wedding present list.
- Book holiday time at work for your honeymoon.
Six months
- Book the cars which will be used to transport the bride and bridesmaids to the church and the couple from the church.
- Book any music that will be played at the reception (band, disco etc).
- Book a photographer and a video firm if desired.
- Book an hotel for the wedding night.
- Buy or make arrangements to have made or hire dresses for the bride and bridesmaids.
Four months
- Visit the priest at the church where you will be getting married to arrange when the banns will be called. Discuss with her the music and order of service as well as the day and time for the wedding rehearsal. Discuss also whether you want bells, a choir or flowers at the church. If applicable, visit too the priest of the other parish to arrange for the banns to be called there too.
- Visit the florist and discuss colours and types of flowers. This may include flowers for bride and bridesmaids, buttonholes for groom, best man, ushers and guests, as well as flowers for the church and reception.
- Send out wedding invitations, together with a finalised wedding list.
Three months
- Take out travel insurance for the honeymoon and consider general insurance for the wedding (reception disasters etc.). Ensure that you both have passports that will be valid at the time of the honeymoon. Remember that airline tickets must be booked in the names that will be on your passports when you leave to go on honeymoon.
- Decide if you want service papers printed for the church. If so, order these, but remember to ask the priest to look at a copy before printing, to minimise any mistakes.
- Arrange to hire suits for the grooms, best man, ushers and the fathers of the bride and groom.
- Shop for going-away outfits for bride and groom.
- Start to make a wedding cake or order it.
One month
- Buy wedding rings.
- Check arrangements with florists and car hire firm. Check too the catering arrangements at the reception and advise on final number of guests.
- Meet the photographer and discuss with her/him the types of photos to be taken.
- Visit the doctor and arrange any injections that may be necessary for foreign travel.
- Obtain any foreign currency needed for the honeymoon.
- Buy any new clothes that will be needed for the honeymoon.
- Buy presents to give on the wedding day to best man, bridesmaids, ushers and any others taking part in the service. You may also like to give flowers to the mothers of the bride and groom at the reception – order these.
- Book hair appointments for bride and groom for a day shortly before the wedding (or even the day itself).
One week
- Ensure that you have adequate amounts of cash to pay people who may need payment at the wedding (if requested, this might include fees for the priest, as well as payment for cars, florist or photographers).
- If you are using your own cars, make sure they are topped up with petrol the day before!
Marriage of Non-British Nationals
Those of you who are non-British nationals, or when one partner isn’t a British citizen, must apply for a special licence from the Diocesan Registrar before a wedding at Saint Chad’s can take place. In actual fact, wherever you choose to get married, you would still need to obtain, by law, a special license to be married in the UK. A special license is only valid for three months from the date of publication. The following is a brief summary of the procedure!
In the first instance, we have to agree a date and then BOTH of you need to make arrangements to go and see Revd Ann Clarke on 1st Wednesday of the month (from 6.30pm to 7.30pm) at St Martin's Vicarage, Goresbrook Road, Dagenham, RM9 6UX. 020 8592 0967.
Ann is the person, in this area, who deals with the special license you will require to be married in Saint Chad's. It will cost you an additional £70, on top of the £xxx it will cost for the wedding here. When you go to see Ann, you will need to take:
A letter confirming the proposed date of your wedding
Both of your Passports
Evidence of your current address - utility bills etc
A Baptismal certificate
Previous marriage details- if any
Evidence of being on an electoral roll (church or community) if this applies
£70 cash
Here are two prayers that both of you might
like to pray together as you plan, and prepare,
for your wedding day.
Heavenly Father, we thank you for the gift of love; the love of God for man, and the love of man for God. We thank you, too, dear Lord, for human love, that man and woman can love each other. We ask that during the last months of our engagement, you will guide us in all our ways, in our relationship to each other, and in our preparations for our marriage; so that on our wedding day we may give our whole minds to the joy of the service, and the gathering together of those we love; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
Heavenly Father, we ask for your blessing on us as we prepare for our marriage. During the last weeks before the service, when there is so much to occupy our time, grant us a deepening conviction of our love for each other, and your call upon our lives. Grant us joy on our wedding day and your happiness in our future together; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
Office Address:
Saint Chad’s Road
Chadwell Heath
Romford
Essex
RM6 6JB